The Smartest Way To Take Revenge On Your Ex

This is a nice read. And I’m happy to say, I’m in Step 7 now. 🙂

Thought Catalog

image - Daniel Santalla

Step 1: Cry

Cry like you were just pushed out of the tightest vagina on earth, like you just banged your little toe on every piece of furniture at IKEA, like you just accidentally peeled that skin next to your pinky finger’s nail. Just let it all out.

Call your bestfriend and dump everything on them for 4 hours, then come to their house anyway. Eat ice cream and stream shitty rom-coms on Netflix while crying and fighting all the urges to contact your dumb ex.

Spend the next few days repeating all this, or remain on bed feeling like the biggest loser of all time. It’s all okay. Take as much time as you need. Look as ugly as you please. Know that when you’re done with this, you will come out stronger and better.

Step 2: Stop crying and wear your poker bitch face

Yes. That sexy, badass…

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If You Feel Like You’ll Never “Get Over” That One Person

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Luis HernandezLuis Hernandez

I stood in line purchasing a frozen pizza and jar of pickles, a true vision in sweatpants and a fading T-shirt with bold white lettering that spelled, “Old Guys Rule!”

I can only imagine how enticing I must have looked to everyone around me! Men just waiting for a chance to shout, “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” as I sauntered by in my knock off Ugg-slipper-boot things that look more like I was covering my feet with some roadkill I’d just picked up.

I assure you, Martha Stewart would have peed her pants in excitement from the shining domestic goddess I was! Or maybe she just would have peed her pants. I don’t know anything about Martha Stewart’s bladder control.

I paid for my two items (my breakfast, by the way) and kept thinking about how TOGETHER my life is when I noticed an elderly man at the cashier…

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When You Want To Text Them And You Know You Shouldn’t

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joelbear joelbear

Maybe it’s because they showed up unexpectedly in your newsfeed and you were so caught off-guard that your stomach dropped. They were tagged in a photo by someone you don’t know, someone you’ve never even heard of. You’re quickly overwhelmed when you think about the fact that they have this whole life now that you don’t know about, when such a short time ago, you knew everything about them.

Or maybe you want to text them because it’s late, and you feel completely alone. You used to spend every night drifting off to sleep with their arm wrapped safely around you. Now you go to sleep by yourself, feeling like you’re the only person in the world who’s still awake.

Or maybe you’ve been drinking, and you’ve finally reached the point where your brain is actually allowing thoughts about them to filter back through your system. And with every…

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When You Love A Person Who Comes From A Broken Family

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mille-couleursmille-couleurs

When you meet someone who comes from a broken family you probably won’t know it right away. They’ll do their best to blend in, to watch their words, to make sure they seem like everyone else. It’s a habit they’ve picked up over the years. How easy it is to look like all the rest. How easy it is to perform the same dance and routine.

Wear the right clothes. Say the right things. Don’t let your guard down. Never allude to the fact there’s something missing.

And what is missing? It’s the question that continues to haunt them. Was it losing their parent at a young age? Was it the divorce, the abuse, the memories that can’t seem to go away? Was it because they had to grow up faster than everyone else? Not every broken person shares the same story and their story lives inside of them…

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Please Delete My Number

“Please delete my number – because I don’t want to delete you. Because I want you with a certainty that you will perhaps never possess. Because I do not have to think twice about whether I would like to answer your text messages or pick up your phone calls. Because I’m sure. Because I do not love people halfway and that’s where you and I differ. I don’t want the occasional phone call. I don’t want to play your tired-out game.

Please delete my number because I’m not going to settle for your maybes. I want concrete. I want definite. I want people who call when they say they will and show up when they plan to. I don’t want to spend my life waiting for and wasted on a person who can only love halfway.”

My exact sentiment..

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Because I’m going to miss you. Because you’re going to pop into my mind on a rainy Sunday evening when Bon Iver is humming in the background and I’ve poured myself a tall glass of wine and a whiff of your old cologne catches me suddenly off guard – lingering in the apartment like an unwanted house guest who was never invited to stay.

Please delete my number. Because I’m going to want to call you when I apply for that job you always said that I should go for, or cut my hair in that way I never dared to or get that dog we always talked about getting and don’t know who to text its eager picture to. I’m going to want to call you when the Bills win and when the last snow melts and when each long, wine-saturated night draws to a close and I wish…

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Single, Imperfect Women Here’s The Truth: Men Are Not A Scarce Resource

“And that just because we don’t have it now doesn’t mean that we won’t, and nor does it mean that we’re not enough in this moment because we don’t have it.”

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emily_katzemily_katz

I’m struggling with this notion that I have to be perfect in order to attract someone, she wrote to me. I’m not ignorant, I am 100% aware that I will never be perfect, no one is.

She continued, But, my apartment is a legit mess sometimes, my skin looks like shit some mornings, I don’t work out often enough… You know, it’s these things that you’ll inevitably haunt yourself with. I get up and I feel like I’m carrying 7 times my weight in sacks of my worries.

I closed my eyes and took a breath. I knew what where was going. I knew what she was going to say.

A man.

I ended something with a guy that I was convinced was my guy, because he wouldn’t commit. I’m still not over him. He works in my office, another building, a different department. But, for instance, I walked…

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Strong Women Don’t Fall In Love

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emily_katzemily_katz

Strong women don’t fall in love.

They tread in love. Strong women entertain love, they flirt with it, they embody it with caution and they escape from it unscathed. Everyone knows that. Only weak women allow love to affect them. Strong women couldn’t care less.

Strong women live their lives alone.

They may have flings or fuck-buddies or even domestic partnerships but never, ever lovers. Love makes you crippled and small. Love stops you from achieving what you want out of life. Strong women don’t fall in love because love is an emotion. And real women do not feel anything pervasively. Real women switch their sentiments on and off like a light switch. Real women are strong because they have mastered detachment. And detachment is the ultimate end goal.

Anyone else tired of hearing these tirades?

Because I am. I am tired – and I don’t think I’m alone…

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25 Things Only City Women Understand

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mariavilla    mariavilla

1. Nothing is ever too weird to happen, especially on public transportation. Nudity, urination, vomiting, cursing, couples getting in fights, tears, drunkenness. You name it, we’ve seen it. Occasionally, all at the same time.

2. We’ve learned to sleep through everything, because something is always going on right outside our window. Parades, marathons, drunken fights between BFFs, trains. We have mastered the art of sleeping through anything.

3. Side-stepping a mess on the sidewalk at the very last second is one of our special talents. Whether it’s vomit, a dropped ice cream cone, or a pigeon, we’re always ready to move. To give you a Dwight Schrute reference point, we’re somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… and a panther.

4. When taking out the trash, it is not possible to do it successfully unless you first kick the bin before opening the lid. Because, rats.

5. After countless…

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You Should Date A Girl Who Doesn’t Need You

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Date a girl who doesn’t need you because she’s already happy with herself. She’s the one with a tightly packed schedule and a life overflowing with love. She’s the girl you find it tricky to meet up with but who gives herself fully once she’s there. She listens fully when you speak. She answers promptly when you call. She does not waste your time playing petty games because she knows where her priorities lie. She doesn’t need you to complete or fulfill her. She’s simply looking for a partner in crime.

Date a girl who puts herself first. She’s the one who knows that two halves do not make a whole and that nobody can fill in for what she’s not. She admits that she is still a work in progress and she fully understands that you are too. She’s the girl who’s always working on herself because she doesn’t…

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50 Badass Quotes From 50 Badass Women

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Flickr / Lukasz Porwol Flickr / Lukasz Porwol

1.

Who runs the world? Girls.
—Beyoncé Knowles

2.

Women hold all the power. They should use it like a whip, not offer it up like a sacrifice.
—Tarryn Fisher

3.

There’s nothing a man can do, that I can’t do better and in heels.
—Ginger Rogers

4.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
—Roseanne Barr

5.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
—Charlotte Whitton

6.

Women are small and fragile…yet the power they hold is unmeasureable.
—Da Xia

7.

It is amazing what a woman can do if only she ignores what men tell her she can’t.
—Carol K. Carr

8.

These days, I strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. Not being a bitch means…

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